inspiration.

I get pings of inspiration, but i never know what to do with it. I see things in my head that i want to create, but i never can. I see art in the sky, and everything in the world. I hear songs that I wish i could paint a picture to describe them as. Some songs describe exactly how i feel. Poems always come into my head....(the one i have on here....) When it comes to it. When the peice of paper is right in front of me, my mind goes blank.(some very short posts..) I could write down one line, and never get back to it. I used to write so freely, until some people ruined it. By reading it all and rubbing it into my face.
I hated that. ("I've had enough, this is my prayer.") They said that wasnt really how i felt. They said if i really felt like that then i should tell them. When i did i was called a liar. ("I just wanna be myself and I want you to love me for who I am") It was used against me.
I cant even express myself right. I worry about how it might be used against me.
I see people do the things that I want to do, perfectly, without even trying, and they take it all for granted.
Sometimes i guess i just get angry with myself, over things that will never matter...
I just realized, i titled this Inspiration.
None of this is inspiring.

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so very challenged

when it comes to sewing with machines....

i usually hand sew. but its coming along nicely. just slowly.

White Rose

You'll never get your white rose, no one else will miss you. They never knew you exsisted.

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If i could write you a letter.

we all miss you. nothing has been the same since you left us. the family fell apart, you were our glue. i'll always love you, even if you might not be my biological grandfather. you're the only grandfather i ever knew. you influenced everyone your life touched. i know you wouldnt want us to be sad forever over you, so im happy you were in my life. you were taken away from us so fast, it took me awhile to stop greiving. i'll always cherish the last words you said to me.
im glad your no longer in pain...
and im sorry i couldnt be there.

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Some of the things I ♥